I keep saying you don't know what your goals are. They are based on your values.
Mark Manson wrote excellent books about the subject, in a sideways fashion, using analogies and stories.
A good read.
amzn.to/39WJEpy
Personal Values: How to Know Who You Really Are markmanson.net/personal-values via
If you are a man aged 35/55 and feel frustrated, unhealthy
and have low motivation, I can relate:
read this.
At some point most men feel inadequate, tired, frustrated
and have low motivation. This is due to a combination of internal and external
factors:
-
Age: Testosterone levels can drop naturally. We aren’t
naturally as fit as when we were younger. We lose hair and grow bellies.
-
Perceived achievements: We aren’t what we
thought we would be. I wanted to be a motocross champion AND a guitar god.
-
External pressure: Social media shows the good
and the bad. Never the full picture.
How can you regain motivation, confidence and health? Let’s
break it down to the basics.
-
You don’t necessarily know what your goals are.
You think you do, but do this: focus on your goals and ask
why, why is this MY goal? This is essential. Some goals will stick, some others
are entirely manufactured by social pressure, media and tradition.
Break it down to what YOU want.
Ask yourself this question:
-
Why do I want (insert goal here) ? What’s the
origin of it?
If it’s not for the following reasons, question it HARD:
-
It improves my health and wellbeing (even
financial)
-
It helps my family
-
It lowers my risk and ability for others to
control me (I will write about blackmail another time)
-
It helps other people or causes I REALLY care
about
IF your goal is there for the following reasons, DROP IT
-
It makes me look good in the eyes of others
-
I want to be better than (insert person you’re jealous
of)
-
I want to punish/hurt/settle a score so I will
do this.
These are not your goals. These are weeds growing in your
brain which you need to eradicate. Your life is too short for this.
-
So, where do you start?
Always, Always, Always start with the basics.
What improves your health, wellbeing, motivation and – ultimately
– success and satisfaction?
-
Physical health
-
Mental health (they are the same but have different
levers)
-
Better social life
-
Better family life.
-
Understand “work” and “money”
Follow this blog for the next chapter, and thanks for
reading.
So I'm doing curls, lat raises and shoulder press this morning
#FitnessMotivation
#NoExcuses
#workoutmotivation
First published in April 2020
Sometimes there are very good reasons to keep things the way they are: tradition and heritage, protecting quality and craft, or the good old "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
However, once in a while milestone events force change upon us. No one will argue against COVID-19 being one of them; even from the confinement of lockdown one can see the incoming swarm of changes our lives will be presented with. Maybe for now this looks like a looming cloud, but within it we could find seeds of opportunity.
This short article is only meant to help shifting perspective from doom and gloom and help us reflect on the learning and innovation we can gain from a global crisis like the one we are living in.
It is worth remembering that most big leaps forward in human history - in fact, in the history of our universe - were sprung by unexpected events, often catastrophic in their nature. Taleb calls them "Black Swans". FYI, COVID-19 isn't one of them, for it was entirely preventable in my opinion. But back to the point, few foresaw the impact of things like the motor car, personal computers or even the internet. It should make you feel good that not even the "experts" can see these coming.
Case in point, Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman, whose prediction about the internet became a lifelong meme.
There are many more examples of outliers and "fat tails" destroying forecasts and bell curves, so why don't we look at the principle of adaptation to try and identify strategies for renewal and refocus?
Let's narrow it further: With #covid19 ripping apart conventional methods of fulfilling supply and demand flows, I noticed old fashioned methods resurfacing. A few examples:
At a personal level, what can you do differently in your interaction with your peers, suppliers, and most importantly - customers - to nurture relationship and assure best results?
I will leave you with something I found inspiring while reading HBR: Barksdale's three rules of business. “One, if you see a snake, shoot it. Two, don’t play with dead snakes. And three, everything looks like a snake at first.”
I like to think that opportunities at first can look a lot like snakes.
If you like this article, please share it. If you don't, please critique it below.
https://hbr.org/2014/06/dont-play-with-dead-snakes-and-other-management-advice
https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/sylvester-stallone-on-fighting-for-what-you-want
I tend to do the opposite. I have a busy work life and time to work out is scarce. On holiday, I can focus and dedicate as much time as I want to my fitness sessions.
When I choose a hotel or a resort, the quality of the fitness center is a key selection criteria.
Of the two typical traits discussed in business books and motivational gurus’ circles, Fear and Greed, Fear is the more hardwired and human-like one, making it very easy to leverage and exploit.
Every single reader of this article will have personal experience of Fear-based management. The interesting thing is that it doesn’t necessarily relate to a professional context. After all, our parents used Fear as a tool since we were born.
Fear is an easy – if blunt – tool to use to manage behaviour. If used sparingly and correctly, it has extremely powerful and even positive qualities. Who can argue against making children afraid of personal harm through experience or evidence? (before explaining context and logic around the topic, of course). You don’t want your children hurt; you tell them stories to scare them away from dangerous situations.
But here’s the key: once children grow up, you have to change the medium and use tools appropriate to age and maturity level. The same applies to work associates and their experience and skill.
I would argue that as we grow up and become more aware of context and social dynamics, the Fear element should be gradually dialed down towards zero, for using Fear against trusted and experienced associates - in fact, against anyone in a professional capacity - infantilises them and moves the relationship towards blackmail. It also shows a lack of personal empathy and respect.
The signs of Fear-based management are easy to spot so I won’t list them here, but it is safe to say that if you feel that the other party is using intimidation as a motivational tool, you are in a poor relationship which will ultimately result in a rift.
The secondary – and equally negative – effect of Fear-based management is the inevitable onset of distrust and cynicism on the receiving side. If you are not trusted and scared into task-based behaviour, you will end up in a stressful vicious circle of subconsciously expecting negative outcomes and projecting this negativity outward. Sometimes this is by design. Some people deliberately create a Fear-based ecosystem as it can work as a perverse loyalty trap. Fear is very powerful.
So, what can you do about it?
First, separate good Fear from bad Fear. Good Fear keeps us safe and alive, and it’s an innate trait we should be aware of and use as a trusted friend. Don’t take risks you don’t understand, never reach the point of ruin, never ignore Fear. Essential stuff.
It is bad Fear you need to address, for it is happening to you but it's deliberately generated outside. In this case, follow Frank Herbert’s quote from “Dune”:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
In other words, dissect and analyse the causes of this Fear and one by one address them by identifying the actor, motive and execution to remove them and take control of the situation.
What will be left is a clear action path to an improved condition.
Ever since I was little, I've been obsessed with anything to do with two wheels and an engine.
The key to riding motorcycles is that they require an "active" management of their physics for them to balance and function. Once you get it right, the satisfaction of weaving through corners (or dirt trails) is phenomenal.
However, learning to ride motorcycles is not easy. How do you explain to your stubborn brain that, in order to go left, you have to pull on the right grip? How do you assure that you're looking up, instead of checking what's in front of your front wheel? How do you avoid riding into a very visible obstacle?
Most of the time, it's a matter of avoiding Target Fixation. Our hand-eye coordination, very helpful in 99.9% of the cases, will put you in harm's way if you let it take over. In other words, if you fix your sights on that tree, you will hit it.
In layman's terms, the way to avoid target fixation is to "look where you want to go, not where you don't want to crash".
Easier said than done. But with practice, one will develop that subconscious skill which will guide them through wavy roads with confidence, and very importantly, with pleasure.
The business analogy in this case is quite clear. Companies (or Managers) who focus on avoiding threats instead of driving towards their goals, develop a tendency for getting stuck in all sorts of avoidable situations. I'm not saying a company should not try to manage risk; that is a completely different matter. On that aspect, an experienced biker assures that their bike is in good riding condition, has all the paperwork in order and – most importantly – the rider himself is protected by the best available safety gear, as well as having his skills and psycho-physical condition in top shape.
Target Fixation affects business as much as it affects a motorcycle riding. Try to focus on where you want your team, organization, company (or even yourself) to go, and do not let the magnetic attraction of avoidable dangers to pull you towards harm.
In time, these potentially threatening items will become part of the landscape. You'll be aware that they are there, and know the danger they represent, but you will skillfully glide past towards your destination.
Thanks for reading
References:
Early in my career, I subconsciously dealt with stress by increasing my adrenaline level. By seeking harder tasks. By doing extreme sports...
